THREE FAT BUDDHAS: THE RETURN OF MASTERCHEF AUSTRALIA

Put down your saucepans and break out the Kleenex! Masterchef Australia is back!

George has slimmed down! Which is a bit annoying as it has now reduced the impact of my title for this piece. Anyway, we have been promised that this year they are concentrating on the cooking, which means no dramas and sob stories. For those of you that don't know the show has been getting a beating in the ratings war, last year the competition was My Kitchen Rules (which is not staged at all!!!!) and this year is from House Rules, a diy programme that actually makes DIY interesting.

Masterchef Australia begins with a return to the selection round which was dropped last year. Once the top twenty four were chosen it's on with the cooking. Oh, wait!there is just one thing to sort out. Just as Gary is welcoming the top twenty four he announces thaat one person is missing: Cecelia. Cecelia is recovering  from a brain injury and upon receiving medical advice the show has decided not to allow her to compete and Georgia, who has already had a lot of airtime is replacing Cecelia. So, having been assured in the press release that it was all about the cooking this year we have our first sob story BEFORE WE HAVE SEEN ANY COOKING! I'm sure  it wasn't put there for dramatic effect!

It has been evident in this show in previous series that a good back story gets you a long way in the competition. Family tragedies are always a good choice, or an ex drug user who was saved by his love of food (Rhys from Masterchef the professionals) or have worked for the Queen (last season, can't remember her name) or been an Olympic athlete (Emma, last years winner). So who is getting airtime early in the competition this year?

Another thing I have learned over the years is that in the early rounds the best and the worst get a lot of attention. This is common sense, but it does allow you to make predictions early on as to who is going home first. I won't discuss eliminations as that would be a big spoiler, I will instead look at the characters that are "good TV". First off we have Byron. He tells us that the competition really means a lot to him. In fact he has given up his job in the states and dumped his girlfriend to be a part of this years show. During the first challenge set by George all I will say is that two components were supposed to go into two moulds. He got his the wrong way round. Lucky for him he has a good back story so the girlfriend dumper is through safely.

Alarmingly people are still crying all over the place as they recount their food dream to the judges, who are always ready to ask: "What does it mean to you to be here? What's your food dream? What have you had to sacrifice to be here? Bloody hell! It's only a bit of cooking for gods sake! But if you want to succeed in this program you had better be willing to cry when your eggs don't cook or you serve raw meat. I bet its in their contracts. Either that or the shows producers are good at spotting weepy people in the auditions.

There is also a chance to get sentimental when all the former champions appear to promote an ingredient each for the challenge. They are all part of the masterchef family now. Ahhh!

During the selection round I noticed that it had the feel of Masterchef USA. They even dragged in a contestants gran to plead his case. When the challenges start our old friend the "advantage" is put in play for whoever wins the challenge. I hate these things! They can let an average cook go furthar than they should and a good one go home before they should. This is especially the case with immunities. If you want to watch a cooking competition that doesn't give advantages and instead of which rewards the best cooks then watch Masterchef UK. All other versions of the Masterchef franchise wish to change the format to one of a game show.

So the promise of less drama is already compromised and there is more to come. In show three Amy burns her curry, gets in a fluster and begins to have a meltdown. Obviously it is time for big Matt to follow her in to the pantry and give her a motivational speech. This, of course, turns her from a gibbering wreck to a focussed competitor. Now that she has had a bit of attention she is fine. When a challenge is underway you notice that the same few people are being given more airtime and these are the ones picked out at the end as the top and bottom three. Many contestants are quite anonymous during the early rounds.

Whose in the running then? Byron won't have it his own way. There is Ben, for example who is recovering from Leukemia, and Jamie has a baby in hospital for an operation. There is also Scott who looks after his Gran and Grandad. In his first challenge, though, his time management is bad and serves only potatoes. He gets warned that this could put him out of the competition if it was an elimination round. During the judging we see Amy's finished Curry. Time for another speech, this one from George. He learned something today, he tells her, she is a fighter, she doesn't give in. Yeah, George, she can overcome the trauma of burning Onions. She really is a rock. Jamie of the hospitalised baby fame does well and you know we will see a lot of him. Ditto Laura.

I have watched five episodes now and I must say that apart from adapting some Masterchef USA features, like bringing in Nicks Gran and taking Laura, the challenge winner in to the pantry to select the ingredient everyone will cook I haven't noticed much difference from previous seasons. We still have those annoying crying contestants (big babies), sob stories and dramas in the kitchen. It is most definitely NOT all about the cooking. Without the game show immunities and advantages plus the dramas and the hysterical contestants it would be just about the cooking.

Mind you, it is nowhere near as bad as My Kitchen Rules which overplays emotions, dramas and conflicts. The last season was certainly gearing up towards a final between the two main protagonists but had to change their plans due to a Twitter storm of protests from fans of the show. I think that the fans were right and the producers had lost sight of the actual reason for the show: the cooking.

It just makes me wonder, do the fans of these kind of programmes want to see cooking or watch a drama? Do the producers of these shows control everything from beginning to end to create a quality drama about cooking or a cooking show with some drama?

One way to find out would be to give us a show where the viewers vote for the contestants. Then we would know what people want. Unless, of course the shows fix the outcome. After all, how would we know? 

AN OPEN LETTER TO AMANDA TAPPING

Dear Amanda

First of all may I say that I have enjoyed your acting and producing/directing in the past, and it is good to see a woman breaking in to the male dominated world of TV directing.

Now that you are in this position you have the opportunity to show women as strong characters, which is what I would like to write about now.

I have watched Continuum since the start despite finding it difficult to identify and sympathise with the main character Keira Cameron. My problem is not with her, per se, but what she represents. When watching a programme that has as its hero someone that is trying to safeguard a corporate fascist future and is fighting against "terrorists" that are trying to prevent a dystopian, Orwellian future from developing then I tell you what I am not supporting: fascism. Go  Liber8!

Fair enough, she does have to ensure the future pans out correctly because she has to ensure that her her family are going to be there when she gets back. I know that there is a film with the name but can one go back to the future, is she not going forward in going back? Either way I do not like the future she comes from. As far as I'm concerned there is too much corporate control exerted over us now. I wish that they would hurry up and lose all their money so that we can start again and have Butchers shops, tailors and  Grocers stores, and so on. But I digress, as usual.

Anyway, leaving that aside I would like to ask you a question: why does Keira keep crying? Here you have the opportunity to show her as a strong woman able to survive in a mans world and deal with the same problems as them in the same manner, and what happens when she is in a tricky situation, like being captured by the timelords, or whatever they are? She starts blubbing.

Apart from anything else she is supposed to be a computer controlled future militarised cop, the sort of cop that has their empathy removed so that they can make calculated, logical decisions. There is no way that she would be bursting into tears. Not even when thinking about the family that she left behind in the future. She is supposed to be a robocop, but damn! In this show we get the one robocop that is flawed by traces of human feelings.

Then we have Carlos Fonnegra, her partner. Given all the weird stuff that he has accepted since the start of the first series why can't the guy get it into his head that even if there are two Keiras they are still the same person? When he meets the one that came back from next week he is all "well how do I know I can trust you? I've only just met you. I have known Keira 1.0 since the beginning of season one. How do I know you are the same as her?" Really, Carlos! Its simple.

One is from the year 2077 and one is from next week. However, the one from next week is also from 2077 and has time travelled twice. The one from next week knows about the one from 2077, but 2077 doesn't know about her. To save Carlos too much of a headache 2077 Keira gets herself shot and dies. Now there is only next weeks Keira who has all the knowledge and experiences as the 2077 version. Perhaps next weeks Keira shouldn't have asked Carlos to get rid of 2077s body, thats what started his meltdown. Come on Carlos, whats so confusing about that?

Next weeks Keira, who I shall now refer to as just Keira, as 2077 is out of the picture, then furthar confuses him by telling him that ther are two Alecs: one chooses to run  his fathers corporation, the other chooses love. Keira explains that there is a right Alex and a wrong Alex and she has to get rid of one and also find her killer. The right Alex is the one who came back for Emily, the other is now an anomaly, as future Alex, all powerful leader did not take over his old mans company.

Having got rid of an Alex things should normalize, but will the future that Keira came from still be the same? How come she locked up the right Alex and let the other continue in the timeline? I know he is the one from that timeline but he is not the one that shaped the future - or is he?

Anyhow, Keira has had an eye opening experience that made her look at the world differently. Does this mean she is going to switch sides now?

In closing, could I just ask you to consider not letting Keira cry. She's supposed to be a double-hard bastard like xena. You didn't see Xena sobbing all over the place, did you? In addition it may be an idea to increase Fonnegras IQ score a bit.

So keep up the otherwise good work and I'll carry on watching

yours sincerely

Des